(don’t be offended by the photo Mom…smile! hahaha)
My mother and I entered Balai Kartini’s auditorium to attend the last session of 7th Global Conference on Buddhism after afternoon coffee break only to find that our seats had been taken. Although we were told that we were allowed to change seat after each break, most people did not change seats to keep things convenient. It was definitely faster to know exactly where to go when we came back from breaks.
Anyway, when I found that someone had taken my seat, did I think bad or negative thoughts? Yes, I did. Did I feel negative emotions? Yes, I did. Even after listening for Dhamma for almost two days, negative thoughts and feelings still arose.
These were my initial thoughts and feelings:
- How dare she take my seat? It was the perfect spot for taking photos. Why did she take mine when there were other seats available on the same row?
- Why did she create a disturbance? When she took my seat, I had to take someone else’s seat and it just made everybody on that row feel annoyed and uncomfortable?
What happened after I had these negative thoughts and feelings? What did I do? At first I tried to tell her that it was my previous seat and I would like to sit there again. She said that the MC had told us that it was free to change seat, therefore she decided to do just that. Once again I tried to make her understand that there were five of us in the group and moving one seat actually created an inconvenience not to one person but to five people. She stood her ground citing her right to sit there. Since the session was about to start, I decided to just move to other seats that were available in the middle of the row.
What was happening in my mind while I had that conversation with her? I was actually quite aware of my thoughts and feelings during the whole process. I believe that it is my meditation practice that actually helped me to be aware of the rising thoughts and feelings. Since I was aware of these thoughts and feelings, I could analyze and manage them. When I saw the feeling of annoyance rising, I remembered Ajahn Brahm’s advice not to let anything that happened to destroy our virtue, peace and compassion. I thought changing seat was just a small change, anicca, I would not let it ruin my feeling of peace and happiness. I decided to put what I learned from great speakers of the conference into practice!
In addition to deciding to be peaceful and happy no matter what, I asked myself a question to build up my compassion. The question was: “What else can it mean?” Then I started to think about positive reasons why she moved to my seat. These were some of the reasons that I thought of:
- perhaps she wanted to take better photos of the speakers because my seat was really one of the best spot to take photo
- perhaps she wanted to have a chance to give respects to the monks by standing in Anjali when they passed the aisle
- perhaps she had a stomachache and needed frequent trips to the bathroom
- perhaps the people who sat next to her were stinky and she could not stand sitting beside them anymore HAHAHA
Anyway by thinking these thoughts, I started to have a feeling of compassion towards her and the feeling of anger, annoyance disappeared.
At the end, I was actually grateful to have this experience because I had a chance to practice what I have learned and felt the benefit of the practice. I can especially feel the benefit of my meditation practice in a situation like this, such as being aware of my thoughts and feelings, understanding anicca, and letting go.
What would you think, feel or do in a situation like this? Would you have felt angry? Would you still keep the anger and hatred even until now? Once again, remember what Ajahn Brahm taught us: remember what went right instead of what went wrong. Choose to remember the good times of learning Dhamma from great masters during the conference instead of losing one lousy seat!
I hope this story can help you to choose to think, feel and do the right thing when similar situation arises.
May all beings be happy!
Learn and Grow!
Inge Santoso, B. Com
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